i don’t mean to offend you but i am having trouble trying to get myself to care about what you think about my selfies uwu
hello. i’m just stopping by to post little diary entries from my notes while i’ve been away. hope you’re well.
day 1: mother threw a tantrum in my room and destroyed it while i was alone at a park crying a little for the first time in a long while. it was out of despair.
day 2: they tried to assure me that they don’t think about my kisses later. should i believe them?
he said “we just need to go to a more positive place.” i said that negativity and positivity are all in ones head. and you can’t leave your head. only clean/reorganize/redecorate.
day 3: a customer told me that hitler went crazy because he was vegetarian therefor didn’t get proper nutrients lol. i’m about to go see megen for the first time in months. we spent our whole lives together but we only hug when we’re drunk. so i’m nervous and excited. tobacco shop guy said that six years ago he saw me running from my parents a lot. they’re out for the night in illinois with victoria for a gymnastics meet. laughing and catching up with megen and her dad was so pleasant. she’s doing so well i’m so happy for her! we played rock band and even invited adam over. then i tried to teach her and julee how to blow o’s. i was bashed for being aromantic.
day 4: lots of disasters happened today, but i’m really happy that it’s still morningtime. i wish i reminded myself that it was morning time when things were rough today. oh-well! just the idea of morning hours makes me so happy. it’s 11:54am and i’m savoring it. this day is going by slowly and that’s a really good thing. i went to the hookah bar with jameel and caught up with him. he’s doing so much better nowadays. becoming better too. and he’s got a new new wedding arranged and his fiancé sounds wonderful and they’ll do well together it seems. i only had one suicidal moment today. i haven’t cleaned my room. i have work at 6am tomorrow but nobody is here to give me a curfew so i’ll spend the night out with marcus.
i ran away to hide. sick of sludge i drove far far far without being able to be contacted. sat at a park and a graveyard and then went to a shop called flower child herbs. the owner there was old but so healthy. she had long dreads and wrinkles and large witchy eyes. she’s the only herbalist for hundreds of miles from here. she gave me a cup of tea. her husband grows it all organically in my town. and we talked about the healing types of herbs that i was looking for. i really want some eucalyptus to hang in my shower but i couldn’t find any. however i bought everything i need to blend what i think will be the perfect stress relief / nerve relaxing tea i have been meaning to make for months. i asked her how she studied and she said there weren’t really schools for her back in her time. she traveled and did apprenticeships with the masters, the ones who write the text books that i’ll read in school. i hope to see her again and again and make her my casual mentor. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
i was quoting rosemary gladstar to victoria and my mom came in and said to be careful not to worship plants LOL